Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
So apparently I’m into choking now
I'm having to shit out rocks
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
