escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
