i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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