WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
