real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
