Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
