Me too!
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Randomize
