Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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