Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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