idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
