I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
