We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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