the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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