i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
