is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
