I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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