Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
