he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize
