I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
