I wish I only lived at night.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
