he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
