Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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