i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
