Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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