You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
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