OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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