I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
