I CAN MOONWALK!
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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