Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
