it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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