no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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