don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
