All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
