I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
