What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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