Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
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