I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i used baking grease as lip gloss
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
