in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize