Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Randomize
