I smell stomach acid.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
NoShamevember. You game?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
