Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
