he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
