Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
she looked like the before picture.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
