he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
You smell like a Billy Joel song
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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