Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
