there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
We need a shit load of segways right now
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
