I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
