I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
