Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Brb crying the tears of my youth
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
