I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
