very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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