it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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