Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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