all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
