Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
