My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
