Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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