Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
