Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
