I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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