oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
