I hope mine doesn't look like that
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Naked Twister starts at high noon
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
