if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
