seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Randomize
