I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
