he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
