so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
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