ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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