Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
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