Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
