The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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