I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
