He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
