I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I could fuck to npr.
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