there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
