At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
